IN SEARCH OF WHOLENESS
“This being human is a guest house. Every morning is a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness come as an unexpected visitor…
Welcome and entertain them all. Treat each guest honorably.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
Sometimes I wonder who I am. I feel like a reflection on the water that hides the complex depths of life inside. Depending on the situation, I live a public story that has been cultivated over a life time or sink into my inner experience of life.
In the workplace, I am driven to accomplish goals and achieve excellence.
With special friends, I am a fun-loving jokester.
I’m a risk taker when the odds are high. And there are times when I hold back because I feel an aversion to risk.
At home, I surround myself with peace, beauty and nature.
In my depths, there is a rage that bubbles up from my depths and shows it face time to time. It almost always surprises me like a strange has taken over. It always requires my attention to discover the source so I can do some work to heal this area of my life.
And in my deepest core I experience boundless love, peace and life force when I quite my mind and become fully present in the moment.
Does this sound familiar to your own human experience?
Sometimes in our modern life, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and slip into to feeling indifferent as a way to cope with all that clamors for your attention. Indifferences can be a shield from the onslaught of emails, texts, data, meetings, tasks, calls, family needs, emotions, and opportunities that flood your life daily. It can protect us from looking at the pieces of our life that call for our attention.
Yet, the shield of indifference can hurt you deeply.
“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.
The opposite of beauty is not ugliness, it’s indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, but indifference between life and death.”
There are ways to shift from indifference to feel whole. Neuroscience research has revealed that we possess two distinct types of self-awareness.
One type you know very well. The self that tracks your history across time. This is the self that knows your story. Your public story. The self who connects the dots between all your experiences and uses words to express a coherent story of your life.
The second type of self-awareness is based in physical sensations. When we are in a safe place and are not rushed, we can touch into the physical sensations and find words to express the deeply lived experience interiority that contains our truth.
It is this second system of knowing that needs to be accessed, honored for its wisdom, and allowed to be reconciliated with our public story. This is a powerful path to releasing deeply held pain that we were afraid or ashamed of revealing in our past.
How do you access this second system?
Writing is one of the tools you can use and it is powerful. As you write, there is no one to judge you. There is only space to explore what draws your attention. You can use a practice called free writing where you write the first thing that comes into your mind and keep going without stopping.
Start with a few minutes of silence. During the silence, quite your mind and scan your body for sensations. When you find a sensation, sit with the sensation to see if it takes on volume. When it does, begin to write about the sensation. Keep writing until you feel empties out.
With practice, you will discover a pathway open up to your inner wisdom. Deeply personal experiences that have been hidden from view will splash out on the page that are uniquely yours.
As you bring balance between your two systems of self-awareness, you will welcome a sense of personal wholeness and a comfort in your own body.
Are you ready for self-discovery?
Interested in exploring more? Contact me.