3 Steps to Unlock Disproportionate Reactions

By: Lisa Wiebe MA in Personal Development, 8 months ago


3 Steps to Unlock Disproportionate Reactions

Do you have moments when you find yourself wreaking havoc and on a rampage that is out of proportion to the situation you are in? Moments where you think, “This can’t be me!”

I do. And I wonder who I am in that moment. But I’ve learned over the years how to find freedom from many of these disproportionate reactions that reoccur in similar situations.

First, it is important to pay attention to where you don’t have reactions. The times where you work through difficulties and tensions feeling balanced. You experience yourself living in a way that is in harmony with your values and purpose. Here is a place where you can identify your strengths and talents.

Then when you find yourself in a situation that triggers a disproportionate reaction, here are three steps you can put into practice to transform your experience:

First, Learn to Observe yourself in the moment:

  • What is triggering you? The key here is to slow down enough in the moment to notice where you are, who you are with, and the full context of the situation.
  • When it is possible, take time to write down what you observed. Be diligent about including details.
  • Then spend time looking at the situation and notice what you caused you to be reactive. And determine how this situation is similar to other times you were reactive. Look for patterns that set off your triggers.

Second, Focus Inward:

  • Self-reflection employs your mind. In this practice, learn to use your mind to be an observer of your body to build self-awareness.
  • Self-awareness is a sensory process that allows you to observe details in your body: e.g. increased heart rate, change in breathing, tight muscles in your jaw, and/or other changes in your body.
  • Using both your mind and body to notice the sensations of your body provide you powerful feedback that opens the door to self-inquiry. Here you can write again. When have I felt this way before? Is there a pattern?

Finally, looking at the whole of your life and accept that what happens today as a reactionary trigger has roots in your past:

  • Realize the reactions are letting you know where you’ve have been hurt by another in some way.
  • Allow the feelings to emerge as sensations in your body and accept them rather than bury them where they will lurk to come out another day.
  • Transform the emotions by seeing them in the light of today, accepting them, and letting them go.

Through practice of the 3-steps, it is possible to heal experiences of your life to become free from reactions. Once you are free of reactions it is possible to live a deeper connection with yourself and others.

Keep in touch.

Lisa Wiebe




User Comments

9 Replies

  1. Susie Young-Tatum

    Love this article, Lisa. Looking inward is so important. I continue to peel back the layers to find the place of healing so that instead living a life from a place of reaction, I am creating my own, new, healthy choices in “what to do next”. Your article is an affirmation, and a good reminder.

    $ 0.06 177
  2. Lisa Wiebe MA

    Susie, Thanks for sharing your experience. Your words express the power each of us has to make healthy choices! I love your image of peeling back layers.

    $ 0.06 168
  3. Will Wiebe BA MS CPC

    Lisa… What a powerful article. Observing and looking inward in oneself plays such an important role in how I create my choices and decisions. These 3 steps are awesome and will certainly guide me to a place of personal healing with my mind, body and soul…. Thank you!

    $ 0.06 215
    • Lisa Wiebe MA

      Thank you Will! I love that you connected the 3 steps with choices and decision making. Powerful observation!

      $ 0.06 212
  4. Mateja Kovač

    Great article, Lisa!

    Negative “recorded” behaviours we carry from childhood or from strong emotional moments throughout life can act as deterrents whe one doesn’t know how to handle them. These 3 simple steps can even fit on a post-it for an every-day reminder. Thank you for sharing them!

    $ 0.06 199
    • Lisa Wiebe MA

      Thanks Mateja! You are right about recorded behaviors. There is a very interesting book, The Body Keeps The Score, the explores the way this happens.

      $ 0.13 164
  5. Will Wiebe BA MS CPC

    Lisa… I continue to strive in looking inward and to touch into my sensations as I create and sustain my choices and decisions….

    $ 0.06 223
    • Lisa Wiebe MA

      It is so interesting to me the number of people who I work with who are not aware of their physical sensations. Fantastic that you are and utilize this self-knowledge!

      $ 0.06 211
  6. Mary Franz

    I’m reminded of the acronym from AA: HALT-> Hungry Angry Lonely Tired . Often key to quick remedies in addition to the important reminder of your article for observing, looking inward and surrendering to past realities while letting go. Thanks Lisa.

    $ 0.06 219