What’s Really Behind What You Say You Want?

By: Elizabeth Dickinson in #firefighter, 3 years ago

11131I presented a workshop to the North Star Women Firefighters Association (and one male firefighter!) on “Authentic Living”.  Only about 3% of our nation’s firefighters are women, so as you can imagine, these were a special bunch.  Many of them are volunteer firefighters, so they can be very busy juggling other paying jobs, their firefighting duties, and their families.

I was powerfully impressed with their dedication to living their values in their daily lives.  They are such good role models for their communities and families, whether they consciously intend to be or not.    (A special shout out to Kim Cummings and Becki White, who started the association as a way to support Minnesota’s women firefighters.)

How do you know what you really want in life?  Once you know, how do you create it without getting lost in the details?

One of the exercises I did with the women firefighters involved identifying something they wanted, and then drilling down by asking the question, “If you had that, what would you have?”  Repeat the question several times and you start to arrive at ‘values language’.

For instance, last Sunday one woman said she wanted the relationship between her and her husband to be a good model for their children.  After several repetitions of “If you had that, what would you have?” the final values language was “I’d have peace of mind and a sense of meaning.”  Her eyes grew moist and her voice got soft.  The room went quiet.  When someone identifies a deep personal truth, you hear it and see it. It’s an honor to be a witness to that kind of truth.

We identified ways she could be a good role model.  She had a good handle on what she needed to do.

One important thing about values work is that once you identify the value, you can literally open it up to the universe.  Whether or not you come from a specific faith tradition, it’s important to take time and reflect on the ‘big’ value.

If you put it out to the universe that having peace of mind and a sense of meaning is what’s most important to you, there are very many ways that you can have that experience (whether or not you always live up to your own standards of being a good role model for your children).

So I invite you this week to examine anything you want and ask yourself, “If I had that, what would I have?”  Keep going until you land on something really big, like happiness or peace of mind.

And then ask the universe (if you’re comfortable praying, call it a prayer) to help you create experiences that will produce peace of mind.  And watch what shows up.

And with that intention, it is my hope that you will be able to pursue your path with passion, purpose, and peace!


If you have any questions you’d like me to address in the newsletter, please email them to me at [email protected] I really enjoy hearing from you!

And if you know anyone who wants to live their values more powerfully in their own life, I always offer complimentary consultations.

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