By: Gwen Dittmar in Goals, 3 years ago


I have some thoughts on New Year Resolutions, and as usual, they go against the popular belief. I have never been a fan of resolutions because I feel like they oppose our inner rhythm and set us up for failure.

First, the lofty goals of losing weight, eating healthy, being more adventurous, improving your relationship, creating more money, don’t have to wait until the start of the calendar year. We can invest in any of these goals at any time of the year. This is why I love coaching – clients invest in what they want and their lives change instantly. If there is something you want to change, if there is something you want to experience differently, schedule a callbook a session, there’s no need to wait until Jan 1. Let’s start today.

Second, resolutions are often filled with pressured and restriction versus pleasure and expansion. What is fun about being pressured, restricted and punished. There is a reason why it is better to reward children for optimal behavior than punish for undesirable behavior. When goals are filled with restrictions, pressure and misery, we are setting ourselves up to fail. When goals are filled with fun, pleasure and feeling, we are setting ourselves up to win regardless of the outcome.

Next, if you want to set intentions, regardless of whether you are a male or female, the best time is during the New Moon each month. The New Moon is when there is no moon in the sky. In January the New Moon falls on the 16th. If you are interested in attending my New Moon Breath Circle on January 16 at WMN Space in Culver City, please register here. Just as we plant seedlings in the dark soil of the earth, when we plant our intentions in the dark sky of the New Moon, there’s plenty of space for those intentions to grow. When we set intentions in the New Moon we align our human life with the rhythms of our ancestors and of nature.

Last, taking action towards our goals in the middle of winter does not align with our innate rhythms. In ancient cultures, winter was a time of hibernation, restoration, reflection and introspection. In modern culture, while technology has created immense value and globalization, it has also created an energy of opposition and disharmony because we aren’t honoring the natural rhythms as readily. The best time to start taking actions on goals is in the energy of spring or summer – not in the dead of winter. How are you supposed to slay when your DNA wants you to rest?

So instead of placing pressure on yourself to lose 20 lbs, find your soulmate, or make a million dollars, I invite you to step into the pleasure of what it would feel like to be in love with your body, intimately know your own soul, and start vibrating like a millionaire. Below are four powerful questions to ask yourself today or on New Years Eve. These questions are different than your traditional “resolutions” and instead align with the energy of winter, restoration and reflection. These questions because they slow down the pace and create a sacred space. Before you start, light a candle, burn some incense, say a prayer, meditate, or do whatever practices make you feel whole and holy.

1. What did I love about 2017?

This will give you feedback about what you enjoy and what brings you pleasure and a hint of what you can do more of moving forward.

2. What did I dislike about 2017? 

I love this question because it tells us what takes away our joy, what keeps us from slowing down and experiencing pleasure.

3. What would I omit or outsource, based on what I disliked? 

Please know that in answering this question it doesn’t mean you have to start creating plans or taking action on outsourcing or omitting things from your life. Sometimes reflecting creates the insight on what people, places, patterns and things keep us stuck and what we could do in order to break through self imposed glass ceilings.

4. How do I want to feel and experience life in 2018? 

I work with a lot of women who have everything they thought they ever wanted and they still don’t feel happy, peaceful, balanced or content. Often times we become obsessed with doing, and addicted action because let’s admit it, being busy is easier than feeling all the gunk underneath. However, just like those clients who have it all but are still searching for something, if we can first connect to how we want to FEEL and EXPERIENCE life versus just the external goal, then there’s neutrality and freedom for the goal to actually manifest. More about that in my upcoming Inner Success and Manifestation Workshop March 2018.

I am sending lots of light to you not only on Jan 1st but on all the days of the year because it only takes one choice to start living a life that you are proud of and receive immense pleasure from.

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