With the coming of May and Mother’s Day, my mind swirls with images of flowers of every scent and color. I could never really identify which would be called “my favorite”. For each, have their own distinct qualities, virtues, and attributes. All varieties flourish in the full potential of bloom.
As I come to understand the meaning of the metaphor, “water the flowers, not the weeds”, I realize that we are speaking of the need to distinguish between what is positive and what is negative. Or perhaps, we are asked to make a selection between which is useful, valued, or pleasing and which may be detrimental to growth and flourishing?
So, with this metaphor in mind, it becomes an easy transfer to linking flowers with thoughts, those that bloom to their full potential and those that cut off growth. Although, even most weeds serve a purpose, either medicinally, nutritionally, or as repellents to more harmful weeds, insects, and other predators. They may stand in the way and inhibit the full growth of a budding flower. For example, the Belladonna (beautiful lady) plant, also known as, ‘Deadly Nightshade’, has powerful healing narcotic properties that relieve pain in severe diseases. It can be found to wind its purple flowers clinging so tightly to a rose that it strangles the life force.
The same is true with our thoughts. Our negative thinking patterns can strangle and overtake our positive thinking process. This is especially true when we are making tough decisions, transitions and changes in our lives. Our old thinking easily clicks into default mode and takes over our attempts to form new patterns that can lead us beyond our old habitual ways. The connections have formed deep grooves in our brain where the slightest trigger can set off autopilot. Before we know it, we are following the ‘psycho-path’ into the tangled overgrown weeds instead of the scenic path lined with begonias, salvia, and impatiens.
So, we begin to look for a new pathway to Intervene causing an interruption of vicious cycles that keep us lost, circling, and sinking into victim mud. Before getting stuck in the mud, we can sink the roots deep to ground us and open to the light of the sun. We know a beautiful lotus flower grows out of the dark, stagnant mud. It grows in the darkest places, yet continuously strives to find the light of the sun.
Our beliefs create our attitude. A change in our thinking can change our speaking. Changing our speaking creates a pathway to new behaviors. New actions will change the entire system. We do create our own destiny by taking ownership in what we plant, what we nurture, and what we water. Each moment becomes an opportunity for change. What we pay attention to is what gets nurtured. We can create a miracle in a moment. What will yours be today?
• If you obtain what you want, how will it look?
• If everything were going better, what would it be like?
• Place attention on what you want to expand and grow
• Energize all that is positive
Exactly what is needed for growth and development? The quality of your life is directly related to the quality of distinctions that you make. Distinctions are the way we prioritize one perception over another – how we see the differences – not just black or white
For more on this topic, see Courses: “Water the Flowers Not the Weeds” and “Changing Habits” also, ebook, “Water the Flowers Not the Weeds” ” Rewiring the Brain” by Janet M. Ver Fine PhD. Human/Organizational Development Specialist