Quiet your Inner Critic

By: Martha Tassinari 3 years ago

The key to having a successful business is creating a courageous mindset. Your inner critic can create self doubt, discouragement, and sabotage your business and dreams. Imagine if you had the tools and skill set to battle your inner critic.

Why is it we can be so hard on ourselves and be our own worst critic.

We would never talk to another human being the way we talk to ourselves.

We constantly beat ourselves up. I know I can be really hard on myself. It is so much easier to forgive your best friend than it is yourself. Think about how you treat yourself. Would you treat your best friend the way you treat yourself?

Perhaps there is a voice in your head that constantly doubts your abilities or true potential. Maybe that voice is stopping your from pursuing your dreams and goals or even sabotaging your business and success .

This voice is called your inner critic(and it’s a Liar!).

inner critic in business

Criticizing and judging ourselves can become a habit and can have a huge impact on all aspects of our lives. It can affect our career, our finances, ALL our relationships and most importantly our relationship with ourselves.

It influences our self-worth , self-esteem and our self-confidence.

Most people aren’t even aware of this because their inner critic’s judgements have been there for a very long time.

So what does this negative self-talk sound like? Here are a few examples:

“I’m not good enough.”
“I’ll never make any money at this.”
“I failed at this before, it will never work out.”
“This business is never going to get off the ground.”
“I can’t do this, I don’t have the resources.”
“It needs to be perfect or else I’ll get criticized.”
The list goes on and on… I’m curious what does your inner critic say to you?

So where does this Critical Inner Voice come from?

This self-criticism comes from our family of origin(parents, siblings, relatives). Our family means well, but they can destroy your dreams and goals(unintentionally ).

It can also happen from past relationships or being bullied in school which carries over into our adulthood.(WE aren’t casting blame on our parents here). However, criticism can be strategy many parents use to create a behavior change in their children. It also can used as a control weapon.

This can actually be a birth place for those thoughts of “I’m not good enough, smart enough, thin enough, worthy enough”, etc.

This pattern of the inner critic, self-judgements and negative self-talk can carry over into our adulthood. Over time it can affect us emotionally, mentally, energetically, spiritually, and physically. It can keep us stuck and from shining our true potential.

Your inner critic can paralyze you and get in the way of you sharing your true gifts with the world.  It can even lead up to physical disease.

I struggled with perfectionism for years(I’m still a work in progress). I grew up with a critical dad (who I love and he thought he was helping) . I recall hearing “do it right or not at all.” Literally this paralyzed me from getting stuff done! My thought was “if it isn’t perfect I’ll get criticized.”

The example with my dad is how a pattern can develop and continue through our adulthood.

Are you ready to kick self-judgement to the curb!

The good news is that you can shift this learned behavior and learn new healthy patterns that will help propel you forward in your relationships, life and business.

Steps in Shifting Your Critical Self-Talk:

1. The first step is being aware of when you are critical of yourself. Quite often, if this has been going on for a long time you may not even be conscious of it. Notice your self-talk through out the day. Is it loving and compassionate or is it judgmental ?

What dialogue are you hearing from your inner critic? Is that “inner critic voice” familiar?

Be gentle and compassionate with yourself.

Self-compassion is the antidote to the toxins of your #innercritic. Self-compassion is the answer and can transform fear and self-doubt into joy.

2. Get to know your “inner critic”. It is important to know when this voice is active. Learn to talk to the inner critic and make an effort to quiet the voice with compassion. For example, “Inner Critic” I know you are here to protect me and let me know what I need to work on, but your voice is not serving me right now and I need you to stop being so judgmental.”

3. Treat yourself like you would your best friend. Imagine how you would talk to your best friend or someone you love. What would you say to her? How would you comfort her? You would be compassionate and understanding.

4. Write a letter or journal to your “inner critic”. Let her/him know how you feel. This can be a very powerful exercise.

5. Create a courageous mindset:
     • Listen to what your gut is telling you.
     • Give yourself permission to step out of your comfort zone(to grow & be successful you need to get comfortable with the uncomfortable!)
     • Set boundaries: detach from negative people of opinions that are keeping you from living your dreams.
     • Just like an antivirus system deletes the unwanted files on your computer, allow yourself to delete those unwanted, negative, and unhealthy thoughts that are in your      brain.
     • Ask God for some guidance as you embark your new business, new venture, or new project.

We can’t stop those negative self-talk completely, but you don’t have to believe your inner critic or allow him/her to have power over you.

Don’t allow your #innercritic to hijack your #selfworth.

When a negative thought pops in your head, ask yourself: “What if that were no longer true?” Who do I get to be if I no longer have this thought?”

Want to get in on the conversation?

Join my private FB group of courageous women entrepreneurs/business owners where you will receive support on creating brave boundaries, step into your feminine courage and move out of your comfort zone, learn to say NO and experience more joy in all your relationships. http://bit.ly/braveinnercircle

I would love to hear your comments!

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